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“The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst I think. when the secret stays locked within, not for want of a teller but for an ear.”

-Stephen King



May the bridges I burn light the way.



This year I felt like I was asleep, and I only lived for the past few months of summer break. But I'm proud to have gone through 2014, emerged stronger, more conscious, kinder to myself and to other people.

Escaping from your clutches was difficult, and the debris from the aftermath haven't been fully cleared away. But I'm still grateful to you for showing me this angle of seeing the world, in spite of all that you've done. Perhaps I really grew cynical, but that was alright right now.

I forged truer friendships with the people I never knew were truly there for me. Made new friends, created strange relationships. I noticed my desire for the constant affirmation of my existence from other people, but that didn't make it any easier to break the chain. But I learnt that you aren't truly alone. Don't worry about friends because you are not the only one searching.

My one 2015 resolution would be not to get into a relationship at all. There is no point in starting something new when you haven't wiped all the old grime and dirt away. The only person you need to learn to love was yourself, my dear. It's easy to mistake the comfort of another person for love, but how often do you actually feel passion? There isn't any rush.

And when 2015 is done and over like how 2014 is right now, these are the few things I wish for you:
- For you to love yourself
- Surround yourself with lovely people, who appreciate you for who you are. Always be unapologetically yourself
- Understand the raw emotions of the human heart and let people in and be a comfort.

- Be greater, because I noticed that spark of a giant flame in my heart. I was great in my own way, and no one could take that away from me except myself. No matter what people tell you, you are not useless, not uncaring or cold. You are what you make yourself. And you can always be better.



Chitoge Kirisaki cosplay -- Process
Strangely, I see verrryy few chitoge (from nisekoi) cosplay around the interwebs, and much less any form of tutorial. And so I shall compile all my research, which was pretty fun anyhoo.
I'm just an absolute newb who's documenting what I learnt about DIYing costumes, so there. Read at your on discretion.

1. Skirt
http://www.deviantart.com/art/Love-Live-Skirt-Tutorial-419016067

I scoured through SOOO many uniform tutorials to find this one. The good thing about this pattern is how the skirt flares out (like a circle skirt), unlike one that would look totally rectangular and boxy if you pleated it vertically down.

It actually took me real long to wrap my head around the pattern because I'm retarded. I did my first skirt totally wrong:

But soooo worth it to undo everything. (Needs an iron after moving it around so much lol)

Oh right, and as for fabric, use something more heavyweight, because you want the pleats to stay. But if they can't stay in place no matter how many years you iron it, you can stitch the bottom part of the pleat in place.

But then again, if you do this, the whole thing's going to look stiff and not flowy. What I did was to secure the 2 or 3 pleats directly in front and the back, while letting the pleats at the side go loose.

My fabric was kind of a stretchy cotton THAT WAS ONLY $4 A METER AT GREAT QUALITY. Visit Super Cheap Fabric Store in Dandenong if you live in Victoria :) As for the fabric colour, DO NOT JUDGE IT BY WHAT YOUR EYES SEE. Things look very different on camera, and even more so with flash, so be sure to whip out your phone in the fabric shop.
Top: With flash. Bottom: Natural sun light.

This fabric has some mad contrast in colour, but meh, I bought it.

2. Top
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6iVT0vPtBc&list=WL&index=18

There's actually plenty of resources on how to make a sailor fuku, but this one seems best. I bought a $5 V-collared top at target and used the same fabric as the skirt (you want the same colour, obviously). In the end, it's alot of trial and error with paper scraps; and keep in mind to keep referring to pictures for the shape of the blue cloth. I noticed it's wider and very curved at the back. The front kind of has a straight collar (see pic). Meh, you can just look at existing uniforms that cosplay shops are selling:


The video didnt show how you need to clip your seams at the curves before flipping it inside out, but I found a really useful website that explains "Clipping the valleys and notching the mountains": http://www.makeit-loveit.com/2010/08/sewing-tips-clipping-corners-and-curves.html

As for the bottom curve of the shirt, you need to keep in mind to buy (or make?) a white top that is long enough to chop off. Hemming a curve can be a pain, so refer to this tutorial:
http://byhandlondon.com/blogs/by-hand-london/11628909-nerdy-sewing-tips-3-ways-to-hem-a-curve
I prefer the ribbon method, because it ensures that the curves dont flip up no matter how much you move about. But I would just cut some white felt in the shape of the curve and use that instead of a ribbon.

To make sure your curves are symmetrical, use a paper template to guide how much you want to cut. Note that the bottom edge is just straight, so don't curve it all around!:


3. Tie
I actually bought some orange cloth and wanted to sew it into a rectangle, but I found a long orange cloth ribbon out of no where at home, so yay. Use safety pins to stick your tie in place.

You want a right proportion (not too thick or too thin), so keep measuring the tie:shirt ratio in reference pictures. Mine is 4cm wide.

4. WIGGG
After observing many pics of people cosplaying chitoge, I concluded that milk blonde was more appropriate and natural than a crazy full-on yellow.

I bought mine at ~$10 (OMG SO CHEAP??) at aliexpress. I was sooo convinced I got scammed when it didnt come after 1 month (to australia), but it came like in 1.5 months SO YAY. From the site:

It turned out to be a little more yellow, but that's ok! Actually, it'd be more accurate if you got one with light pink highlights on the bottom. Or chalk dyeing the blonde wig. But I'm sorry I'm too lazy and overwhelmed. Lol.

The quality was actually pretty good, but extremely dry and difficult to work with. But fret not, because you can DIY your own wig detangler!
http://stealthos-aurion.deviantart.com/art/Tut-HOMEMADE-WIG-DETANGLER-252023136

I was trying to skimp though, and couldn't be bothered to buy a spray bottle. So I worked some hair cream and oil into the wig while squirting water at it with my iron LOL.

I wouldn't buy a 1 meter wig ever again though. Lol. But I found it easy if you kept your wig in a loose braid, even when you put it on. Once you reach your anime convention/ photoshoot, just take off the braid and tadaaa, you dont have to brush it out again. ALSO, I ACTUALLY NEEDED A TUTORIAL ON HOW TO PUT IT ON. This was crazily helpful, especially on putting on a mega tight wigcap and a crazy long wig:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjOgBP-fIII&list=WL&index=27

I think cutting wigs are necessary. Mine had way too long a fringe so I had to cut it. Again, lots of tutorials online showing you how to cut bangs. This video (and the cosplayer) is gorgeous:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjB1ydjQBsk&index=6&list=WL
I was way too much of a pussy to cut it too much, so I gave up after a while lol. Oh right, dont forget to get some hair spray/ gel to keep the bangs away from your eyes.

5. Chitoge's ribbon
This one was a pain to decide how to make. In the end, I followed this tutorial:
http://sailoranime.deviantart.com/art/Rin-s-Bow-Tutorial-212063632

Instead of fusible interfacing, you can just use a stiff felt (daiso sells a crapload of that). Here's the measurements I made (but you might want to make it longer, because the ribbon will 'sink' in pretty far down back :/)

Also, you can use some wire or chopsticks to keep the bow upright if you don't want it to flop.

I also decided to just flip the bow over itself, with reference to this bow a cosplay website was selling. If you're a lazy ass, you can just use one piece of felt and do that:


As for the hair clip, I decided to place it in front of the ribbon, because it was more secure than just placing it at the base. Take note that I gave up on creating a half-ponytail at the back like Chitoge has, because the wig was way too long for me to even try tying.

The end result:
NOTE THAT THIS IS THE FRONT

Damn, this ribbon was the hardest to figure out. If clipping it on isn't secure enough, use another hair clip/ bobby pin to secure down the section of hair below the ribbon. (Did you even understand what I said) Basically, just prevent the section of hair your ribbon is clipped to from moving about when you move your head.

6. ETC
Get yourself a pair of over-the-knee socks. I found a pair at daiso, so good for me :)
Don't forget the shoes.

I'm an absolute beginner at makeup, but just scour through the many youtube tutorials and you'll be fine. I found this one great:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzimLUSamWI&index=26&list=WL 
But has too much confusing stuff on the eyeshadows, so just do what floats your boat. If you suck at eyeliner or have hooded eyes/ monolids like me because you're asian, INVEST IN SOME EYELINER STICKERS LOL.

COLOUR YOUR EYEBROWS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfzC6LVzDqU&list=WL&index=28

And you're done! Here's my costest:

[UPDATE] Some photoshoot pics from AFA:

Cosplaying at AFA was wowww. It was totally weird having random people tapping your back and then asking for pictures, one after the other. But I was unprepared as to what pose to do so I was kinda stiff. I had a sense of how to pose but I had no balls to actually do it hahaaa omg. *shot*



SOOO HAPPZ these few days whewww. Jet lag is almost killing it and its 11pm (2am in aussie) BUT GOTTA KEEP FIGHTING. *chugs down 10 more cups of coffee*

1. Plane ride back from australia!
I actually liked this ride despite choosing qantas, which left a bad impression on me after seeing what a limited collection of movies and albums they provide. And how unclean it was. Buuut I managed to watch Begin again and Dawn of the planet of the Apes. Hoooly shit Begin again was SUBLIME, 10/10 will watch again. It didnt have those cliched storyline where 2 people who had fall-outs in their respective relationships end up together. And the music. The music was so chill and awesome.



AAAND saw a rainbow when we were nearing singapore! Can hear people on the plane go OOOOOOOHHHHH simultaneously lol. Daanng how often do you see rainbows up in the stratosphere.

2. Shopping!
Did a shit lot of craft shopping for materials for cosplay, crochet and polymer claying. Whooooo gonna have a productive holiday.

Then wanted to do some black friday shopping with Sarah (who's here from aussie on law internship O:) but I brought her to bugis street and THERE AINT NO DISCOUNTS THERE cos the things are... already discounted. I bought a leathery skirt for $10 though, yay!

3. Went to hang out with timo and soif (BROSHANS 5ever) and lost multiple games of dota while only winning 1 (why does this always happen). Timo still likes laughing at the apparent profoundness of this blog.

Watched Interstellar with them AND WAS CONFUSED 10 TIMES. "The whole movie spoke like timo!" was a very apt description hahaa.
Shared the 1-for-1 starbucks deal after debating over whether it's actually 2-for-1 or 1-for-1 while they both mean the same thing... Damn. Note to self, never buy the christmas cookie latte, because despite of it's yummy name, it tastes like nothing. It wasn't even water. That's how nothing it was.

4. Cell group + hanging out w chris and wc!
YCS cell group is still awesome. So sad there is no commitment to make this a weekly thing that everyone can come to.

Chris and wc are still the same retarded awesome people. Made a fruit tart; Tried throwing a boomerang (while damaging it multiple times); Played truth or dare in serangoon stadium, and surprisingly the security guard didnt scold us for being a nuisance. Instead, he scolded us for playing with da dangerous boomerang and we were exiled forever; Playing mahjong, contact, go fish.


Ok lol time to chill and turn on relaxing music while using a face mask or something retardedly therapeutic.

“Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. 

Almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. 

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. 

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it, and that is how it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It's life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.” 

 ― Steve Jobs

HELLO BLOG lol I am so sorry I have not been posting. (If I had a dollar everytime I typed out this sentiment I'd be filthy rich by now)
 Boo yeah its a pole.

Sadly buses come at like an interval of 30+minutes lol so you really gotta refer to the timetable. Good thing is AMPLE SEATS. You never have to worry about standing up on a bus again yay. So I took my "usual seat" which is the second seat from the back, at the most right. (It makes me feel tall and I can see everything hohoho) Saw graffiti (this is really normal :D) advertising SHIFT WARE (see below). Yo if I ever did graffiti I would totally scrawl something on my usual seat too.
And going off the bus is such a pleasant experience because you have to say/shout out "thank you!" to the bus driver. Everyone does it hahaha its so polite.

Anyways, walked around ALOOOTT. I dont even want to bother with the details of this lol because I got lost and re-walked a path many many times. I ONLY BOUGHT STUFF FROM 4 STORES AND SPENT $45 TOTAL LOL.

1. LINDT CHOCOLATE CAFE
WHAT IS THIS HOLY SHIT GOODNESS LOL. Apparently today was WAFFLE WEDNESDAY which means saving $6 and spending $10 on their waffles omg:
Yay nice ambience too. So I chilled there eating and reading mah book. (IM READING GOSSIP GIRL OK SORRY, JUDGE ME NOW) And ironically at the same time overhearing 3 schoolgirls gossiping on the table next to me hahaha. They were talking about boyfriends and school and some other girl who used to be brilliant but is now not doing so well. LOL,
Anyway, note to self-- Try out the hot white chocolate here next time.

2. TYPO
When I first entered the shop the salesgirl said to me "hi we're having our 30% storewide discount today! DO YOU WANT A SHOPPING BASKET?" Then I politely declined her offer. But like 5 minutes later after I had one item on hand, she approached me again and asked "DO YOU WANT A SHOPPING BASKET?" Lol so aggressive yo, so I just said ok sure and the basket made my life 10% more inconvienient. Ohwell.

This shop has way too many pretty things on sale. Like multicoloured pencils that actually open up to be multicoloured pens. And uber nice designed notebooks ermahgawd. But I spotted the circle lantern lights (which I've been wanting since I was conceived) and I only spent $11 on it boo yeah. PLUS THE CUTE KITTY TOTE BAG WAS FOR $2. I WANTED TO BUY 100 OF THEM.
THE MINI LANTERNS ARE IN MINT TOO. Super great buy because I've also been wanting a night light in my room. (Ok im 19 and I'm still afraid of the dark before I sleep lol)

Aaaand then while walking around, this promoter for the brand Dead Sea gave out this sample to me:
I WANTED TO JUST TAKE IT AND LEAVE but she made me stay to hear her out D: So first she did a sample buffer on my nail and OMG IT WAS MAGICAL; In 10 sec my nail became ultra mega smooth like omg you can slip on it yo. Then she kept advertising the nail product WHICH WAS $100+. And she kept throwing in products and telling me "Can you keep a secret? I'll give you XXX FOR FREE if you buy XXX as well." Omg lol so pressurising. I almost gave in but I knew I'll totally regret it haha. Damn these aussie promoters are good. Such is the downside of shopping by yourself lol. Gotta pull out of situations yoself D:

Other than that, I have nothing much to say. Apart from the fact that window shopping in tiring and not worth blogging about LOL.