Wednesday, December 31, 2014
@6:42 PM
This year I felt like I was asleep, and I only lived for the past few months of summer break. But I'm proud to have gone through 2014, emerged stronger, more conscious, kinder to myself and to other people.
Escaping from your clutches was difficult, and the debris from the aftermath haven't been fully cleared away. But I'm still grateful to you for showing me this angle of seeing the world, in spite of all that you've done. Perhaps I really grew cynical, but that was alright right now.
I forged truer friendships with the people I never knew were truly there for me. Made new friends, created strange relationships. I noticed my desire for the constant affirmation of my existence from other people, but that didn't make it any easier to break the chain. But I learnt that you aren't truly alone. Don't worry about friends because you are not the only one searching.
My one 2015 resolution would be not to get into a relationship at all. There is no point in starting something new when you haven't wiped all the old grime and dirt away. The only person you need to learn to love was yourself, my dear. It's easy to mistake the comfort of another person for love, but how often do you actually feel passion? There isn't any rush.
And when 2015 is done and over like how 2014 is right now, these are the few things I wish for you:
- For you to love yourself
- Surround yourself with lovely people, who appreciate you for who you are. Always be unapologetically yourself
- Understand the raw emotions of the human heart and let people in and be a comfort.
- Be greater, because I noticed that spark of a giant flame in my heart. I was great in my own way, and no one could take that away from me except myself. No matter what people tell you, you are not useless, not uncaring or cold. You are what you make yourself. And you can always be better.